|FALL OUT BOY DISTRACTION (with alot more than FOB and not so much distraction!)
||[Oct. 24th, 2006|02:50 pm]
Announcer: THIS IS TJ AND YOUR WATCHING CELEBRITY DISTRACTION!!!!|
Kaleigh: hi, im Kaleigh, and the usual host had a little bit of an accident before the show, so ill be filling in for him.
(there is a loud sound coming from a closet in the studio. Kaleigh walks off stage and you hear a loud thud and a slammed door.)
Kaleigh: ok, now that that’s been fixed, hows about we meet our contestants?
(Four guys walk out on stage and every girl in the audience screams)
Kaleigh: FALL OUT BOY! So, lets get to know our contestants!
(Turns to contestants)
Kaleigh: so, Joe, which one of your band mates do you believe is a closet leprechaun?
Joe: (thinks about it) PATRICK!
Patrick: I AM NOT A LEPRECHAUN!!!
Kaleigh: we said CLOSET leprechaun. Of course you’d deny it. So, Patrick, which of your cohorts thinks that this is the dumbest game show in the universe?
Patrick: (mumbles something about leprechauns under his breath.) uhm… Joe.
Kaleigh: WRONG! It is in fact, Peter. Peter, why do you hate it? Is it the dumb British guy?
Peter: suuuurrrrreeee….. Lets go with that…
Kaleigh: SO, Peter which one of your friends do you think is the hottest?
Peter: IM NOT GAY!!!HOW WOULD I KNOW?!?!?!
Kaleigh:just asking…..ok, fine ill choose for you…..andy.
Patrick: HEY! why andy?
Kaleigh: because, your just to short.
Peter: then why not me?
Kaleigh:cuz you just seem like you would be a jerk.
Peter: HOW RUDE!
Kaleigh: this is distraction. I can be rude.
Joe: why not me?
Kaleigh: because nobody likes you.
Joe: (is very offended)
Andy: ( smiles smugly)
Announcer: TIME FOR OUR FIRST COMMERCIAL BREAK!!!
(Kaleigh walks over to the guys and starts talking)
Kaleigh: HI! You guys are like my favorite band!
Patrick: then whyd you call me a leprechaun?
Kaleigh: cuz im taller than you . im 14 and a girl.you do the math. Your supposed to be able to grandpa.
Peter:I want cake.
Andy: you ALWAYS want cake Peter. Everybody always wants cake.
Peter: Then why don’t people carry around cake just in case?
Joe: can YOU fit an entire cake in your pocket Peter?
Peter: no…but stil….
Kaleigh: well,weregonna need you guys to sign these medical wavers.
Peter:why?!(eyes her suspiciously)
Kaleigh: just in case you trip on a stair or something….
(theysign the wavers)
Kaleigh: weve got ten seconds. get to your booth thingies!
(everybody rushes to their places.)
Announcer: AND NOW, MORE CELEBRITY DISTRACTION!
Kaleigh: helo everybody, and welcome back. Our first challenge is called Fan Girl Fight. Contestants must answer questions while being mobbed by seven crazed teenage girls.
Patrick: (looks scared)
Andy: (has fallen asleep at the buzzer , and hasn’t heard the challenge.)
Peter: (is seeing if there are paramedics in the room)
Joe: (Has a bunch of chocolate chip cookies and is eating them.)
Peter: HEY! How come joe gets cookies???
fan who gave him the cookies: because your fat.
Peter: I AM NOT FAT!!
Kaleigh: (shoos away fangirl) okay, first up in this challenge is ANDY!!!
Andy: (wakes up)huh? What?(Is pushed onstage by three intimidating guys.)
Kaleigh: on your mark!
Kaleigh: get set!
Andy: Hold it!
(andy is attacked by seven teenage girls who start babbling incoherently)
Kaleigh: what is the capital of kansas?
Andy: uhm(gets hugged by fan girl who soon starts attacking him)ow! OW! OWWW! GET OFF!!! OW!! HELP!?!
Kaleigh: incorrect. What is the closest star to earth?
Patrick: (falls over laughing.) he….girls….answer….o…my…god….(is having trouble breathing due to laughter.)
Andy: Uhm…..no! I will not marry you!(throws a shoe into the crowd to distract fangirls.)uhhmm the sun?!
Kaleigh: Correct! Which one of the following is NOT a planet: Pluto , Neptune , andromeda, or venus?
Peter: WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT??
Kaleigh: CORRECT.10 seconds to go!
Andy: (has been scratched to the point of bleeding by a girl wanting his t-shirt.)I NEED A PARAMEDIC!!! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!!!!!
(crowd has hadto be held back by 12 or 13 security guards)
(andy is led off stage to the paramedics booth)
Kaleigh: aww , that’s it for andy.lets hope someone else only gets one right.nextup: JOE!
Joe: (walks on stage.)
Kaleigh: on your mark! Get set! Go!!
(the fan girls attack.)
Kaleigh: alright, what does SCUBA stand for?
Joe:uhm….sustained..controlled…..underwater..OW!!!.. breathing…oof!(is being hugged to death)….aid?
Kaleigh: wrong! Who said, “ I have a dream”?
(Joe takes a while answering due to the fact he is running away and cant answer and breath at the same time)
Joe: MARTINLUTHERKING!! (is running from fan girls , and gets tackled by one.)
Kaleigh:incorrect, martin lutherking JUNIOR. what is the capital of Transylvania?
Joe:I don’t know! pass!
Kaleigh: okay, final question, what were Abraham Lincoln’s sons’ names?
Joe:Jacob andBill?(he is still running.)
Kaleigh: oooh , too bad, Andy , looks like your safe!
Andy: I DONT WANT TO BE SAFE!!!
Kaleigh:we could always put you in the stands filled with teenage girls…..
andy: NO THANKS!
Kaleigh: okay, next up is Peter!
Peter: ok…(turns to Patrick) if I don’t live through this, don’t touch my stuff.
Patrick: (is afraid in knowing hes next….)
(Peter is lead on stage by the intimidating guys wearing ear pieces.)
Kaleigh: On your mark! Get set! GO!!
(Peteris ravaged by the fan girls)
Kaleigh: okay Peter, who was the second president of the united states?
Peter: ( is beingforce-fed ancient fruit cake by a british fan)MRRMPH!(swallows)yes,the fruit cake Is good, stop feeding me!! Andrew jackson?
Kaleigh: correct! What is the national sport of the USA?
Peter: baseball!( has gone backstage but has been found by a fan.)
fan: I FOUND HIM!!!!
Kaleigh: who wrote TheHobbit?
Kaleigh: is Peter still there?
(Peter runs out from behind a curtain.)
Kaleigh: ok, Peter , good job. Next up, Patrick.
Patrick: Peter..save me……
Peter: NO WAY! IMNOT GOIN BACK IN THERE!
(Patrick is forced on stage by the scary security guards.)
Kaleigh: on your mark! Get set! Go!
Kaleigh: who is (gets half-way through question,when the crowd breaks through the security barrier.)
(there is a sea of fans,and the entire band disappears. The last thing you see is patricksright hand waving for help before it is lost in the fans….)
THREE HOURS LATER
Kaleigh: okay, since everyones okay,and we’ve made sure there are no more fans withn a 2mile radius, we have decided to continue.
Kaleigh: (glares at him.) Three words: rabid----fan----girls.
Kaleigh: there are at least 500 fans within calling range….
Peter: HEY!YOU CANT BLACKMAIL US!!
Kaleigh: you know, ive got some fruitcake in the back im sure youd LOVE…
Peter: (has developed an extreme fear of fruitcake)NO! im fine. Andy, you fine?
Andy: (in shock) i…lost my shoe…
Joe: I think we lost him….
Patrick: whats our next suicide attem---(Kaleigh shoots him a glare)---I mean ‘challenge’?
Kaleigh: you have to hit yourself in the face with a pie of sorts every time you get an answer right.
Peter: that’s just wrong. what happens if your wrong?
Kaleigh: you get cake.
Peter: O!doesnt sound to bad…..
Kaleigh:its fruitcake….just so you know we had this planned three days ago. No way around it.
Peter: O.o must…be…right…..
Andy: where’s my shoe?
Joe: (walks over to Andy and slaps him)
Andy: OW! What was that for?
Joe:I FIXED HIM!
Kaleigh: listen to what you said,and tellme it doesnt sound stupid…
Joe: shut up.hes talking about something other than his shoe, so im good.
Patrick: it was horrible…hes lucky he can even TALK.
Joe:you were only in it for 5 minutes.all of us were in there TWICE.
Patrick: yes, but I also lost my hat…
Kaleigh: ITS A HAT. GET OVER IT.lets start the cvhallenge. Go to your booths..
(everyone goesto their booths.)
Kaleigh. Ok, GO!
Kaleigh: who first invented the automobile?
Peter: (hits himself in the face with an innocent looking pie.))ick! Itsketchup!
Kaleigh: Who was the last pharaoh in the Ptomely line?
Kaleigh:you didn’t buzz.
Andy: (buzz) CLEOPATRA!
Andy: (gets hit with a pie) OH!its lemon meruinge!
Patrick: answer thief!
Andy: hey,its your own fault for not buzzing.
Peter: he speaks the truth.
Peter: (hides under booth.)
Kaleigh: (stops the timer knowing that they weren’t gonna play for a while.)
Joe: how come you couldn’t stop the timer earlier?
Kaleigh: cuz im the writer and I said so.
Patrick: that’s not right. You could control our every move and use our popularity for evil….
Kaleigh: I'm evil ,but im not THAT evil. I would never use you for evil.
Peter: (sticks head out from behind booth)or so you say…
Andy: YEA! She could be lying!
Kaleigh: I'm the writer ,and i say I'm telling the truth. thats that.
Kourtney:I'm the writers sister, and I'm sorry, but i agree with Peter.
Patrick: HOLY SHIT THERES TWO OF THEM!!!!
Peter: since when are YOU in the story?
Kourtney: since I helped your sorry ass.
Peter.HEY!!IM NOT A SORRY ASS!!!
Kourtney: are too
Peter :are not.
Joe: why do I seem to be the least important character?
Kaleigh: Because you ARE. :P
Joe: how nice.
Kaleigh: NOOOO!!!!!!! (is in shock)
Kourtney: she is Not nice. And don’t feel bad joe. your cool. And be happy,you aren’t covered in ketchup pie.
Andy: (to patrick)whats up with her?...
Patrick: shes just nuts.
kourtney : someone FINALLY AGREES!!!(runs over and hugs patrick)
Kaleigh: (shoots patrick a glare) first ,I accidentally deleted the titles of one of my favorite songs from itunes.
Kourtney:ha. karma ROCKS!!! your cd ruining days are OVER!!!!
Peter: (has come out from under his booth.) so? that doesn’t sound to bad…
Kaleigh: it was one of your songs, and I cant remember the title to put it back! I asked my sister, cuz she had the cd, and she wont tell me!!
Kourtney: cause I'm cool like that.
Andy: isn’t she being a little overdramatic??(to Peter)
Peter: don’t piss her off! she might smite thee with her awesome powers as the author!
kourtney: (hides under her booth) he is right.
Andy:freak. (frying pan falls out of the sky and hits him on the head.)(he falls over,unconscious)
Peter: told ya so.
kourtney: do not doubt her cruelness. TRUST ME.
Kaleigh: I wanted an anvil , but a frying pan worked just as well.
Patrick : note to self : DON’T PISS OFF AUTHOR.
Peter: I don’t need a note to self. I'm not ignorant like you guys.
Kourtney:I AM NOT IGNORANT !!! im just not completley “right”up there (taps her head).
Patrick:..is she ok?....she seems a little odd.
Kaleigh: oh, shes always like this. its the combination of brain washing music , educational t v, too many nonfiction books ,and WAY to much sugar intake.
Kourtney : ( smiles proudly)
Andy: ok then.
Kaleigh back to the game!! and I am sorry to say, I'm switching the rules for kourtney-
Kaleigh:- AS I WAS SAYING ,since you will most likely answer a lot, you get a pie every time you get one right, wrong, and just when I feel like it.
Kourtney: but that’s not- (is interrupted by being hit in the face by a pie) HEY!!!
Kaleigh: I felt like it.
Kourtney: (mutters something under her breath)
Kaleigh:what was that?
Patrick: lets get back to the game.
Peter:awww,but the fight was entertaining!!
Kaleigh and kourtney: (get evil look on faces)
Peter:whats with the look?its kinda creep-(gets pie thrown in face) 0.O WTF?!! NOT COOL!!!ANRD PATRICK I'm GONNA KICK YOUR-
Patrick: what-did-i-do?(in between giggles)
Andy: Patrick, you laugh like a thirteen year old girl.
Joe: feeling left out again…..
Andy and kourtney: ( run up and hug Joe)
Kaleigh: awwwwwww *gag* * utterly repulsed by hugging being put in her story*
Kaleigh:back to the game. What natural event can lead to a pyroclastic flow?(throws pie at kourtney)
Kourtney: buzz volcanoe eruption
Peter: that’s disturbing, you weren’t deterred in the least from the first pie.
Kourtney: you get used to it.
Patrick: (looking scared) what do you mean “USED TO IT”
Kourtney:this happens all the time.(looks off in the distance as if remembering something)poor green day.
Patrick: (now looking TERRIFIED)what do you mean “POOR GREEN DAY”?WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?!!!
Kaleigh: (glares at kourtney)I thought I told you to NEVER mention that.
Kourtney:I'm guessing I'm off the show.
Kaleigh: (conjures big red button out of nowhere) yup.(presses it, revealing a big black hole under kourtney)
Kourtney: ILL BE BACK!!!
Kaliegh: yea i know you will.
All of FOB:0.o
Joe: YOU JUST KILLED YOUR SISTER!!!YOUR PHSYCO!!!!
ALL: ( run for exit, which magically disappears)
Kaleigh: first off, shell be back, you heard her yourselves, second off, YOUR JUST REALIZING I'm PHSYCO?!!!
Peter:you scare me.
Kaleigh:I scare most people. Don’t feel special.
Patrick: but he IS special
Peter: hey!!! Whats that supposed to mean?!!